Par·a·dox: a seemingly absurd statement or proposition that, when investigated or explained, may, in fact, prove to be true.
Men's Ministry is hard to sustain.
Men’s Ministry. How hard can it be? You’ve got men coming to church in droves. They have many common interests and face many of the same challenges. The Word of God is taught clearly, and most men genuinely desire to grow in their faith. Just throw some brats on the grill, get a good speaker lined up, and poof! An instant ministry to men! Simple.
But, while the objective may seem simple enough, men themselves are quite complex. There are no “five easy steps” to engage men in a sustainable pattern of spiritual growth. The great paradox is that, as needed and simple as it may appear, Men’s Ministry is the most challenging ministry to sustain in the local church.
What looks simple and obvious is, in fact, extremely challenging. Thousands of churches bear witness to this fact. Most have no discernible strategy for discipling men. A pancake breakfast twice a year, a Super Bowl party, and a Bible study or two are the only resources pulling men toward the spiritual tools and personal integrity they need to live effectively in this complex world.
The facts about Men's Ministry may surprise you.
There are some hard facts you probably didn’t know about Men’s Ministry that might surprise you. Here are some of them:
- It can take up to ten years, not ten weeks, to build a sustainable ministry to men. Men don’t trust big promises. They are drawn to sustained faithfulness and durability over time. A culture, not just a program, needs to be cultivated.
- Nine out of ten churches have little vision, few events, and no plan to meet men where they are and draw them into deeper discipleship with Jesus. This should tell us something about the challenges involved. A robust Men’s Ministry is the exception, not the rule.
- We start wrong. We assume it should be easy, and we quit because it isn’t. Starting with the wrong expectations sinks a boatload of good intentions. Starting strong and finishing with a limp is all too common with Men’s Ministry. Hopes and promises are too frequently broken.
- Time is expensive but absolutely essential for spiritual formation. Yet, there are huge demands on the time and energy of men: career, marriage, family, travel, and the pace of suburban life. This is especially true for young fathers. Finding time is the hardest thing of all.
- Most men don’t have a true friend and don’t think the Church is a place to find one. Yet, relationships are what sustain a ministry to men. Refer to the previous point to understand why men struggle to connect in friendship.
- Many men have been disappointed by the lack of relevancy or the depth of relationships they have found in Men’s Ministry. They are hesitant to try again.
- Many men are seasonal. They have pressure seasons that make consistency difficult. Because men hate to look like “drop-outs,” they avoid starting if they will miss a session or two.
- Most ministry to men looks and feels like school and focuses on books, reading, and study. Men haven’t been shown that they can learn to follow Jesus through many other portals of growth and obedience. So, their gifts and talents lie dormant. Discipleship does not always need to be a class.
Because Men's Ministry is a challenge, we are drawn to it!
So, paradoxically, it’s precisely because Men’s Ministry is the most challenging ministry to sustain in the local church that we are drawn to the challenge! The same reasons that make it hard are the reasons that force us to be creative and view it as the most fruitful investment of our time and resources. We (the Men of Berean) have worked hard—and there is much more work to do—to create an environment where men will discover what they need in the context of what they want. And what do they want?
Men want shoulder-to-shoulder friendship. They want soul-challenging conversations about things they fear and places they hurt in a context of safety. They want doable strategies for leading in their marriage, family, and work contexts. They truly want to hear God’s voice and confidently walk with him. They want some relief and fun.
We seek to build a Men's Ministry that meets the demands of real life.
At Berean, we believe it's essential to build a sustainable Men's Ministry that meets the demands of real life. Here are some ways we work hard to do that:
- Come anytime or all the time! IronWorks, our “boiler room” for keeping the fires of Men’s Ministry going, is open any time. Every week stands alone, even though we teach through different series of related topics. There's no guilt for missing a week or two!
- Catch and release. Many of our small groups meet for a specified season and then release, or take a break, for a season. You don’t have to sign up for life, but we do want to engage you for a key season of growth.
- Come and get it. We host several events each year that are just for fun but inviting. The summer SmokeOut in July and September’s IGNITE! are two opportunities just to show up, eat, and get a sample of what the brotherhood is all about.
- You’ve got a friend. We realize that friendships can’t be artificially manufactured. They take time. Events, teaching sessions, and conferences are all aimed at spiritual growth, which is most effective when you discover a brother is joining you on the journey. Friendship and discipleship go together and augment one another.
- Practice. We make no assumptions about personal history or academic knowledge of Scripture. We simply want every man to practice what he is learning from the Word. Maturity is not a video game. We need to practice our obedience in real life.
- School’s out. There are many learning styles: visual, auditory, kinetic, and participative. Not every disciple learns the same way, but all learning styles lead toward obedience. Following Jesus is not a class. It is a life given away in congruence with one’s gifts.
- Free-range discipleship. We aren’t raising eagles in a chicken coop. We want men to fly and populate the world God has called them to. So, our ministry to men is geared to equip and send out disciples into the world. Men are “Out There,” deployed around the city and world to give evidence of the King we serve. We want every man to be supported in his assignment for God.
We need men in the Church to stand strong.
The stakes are high and getting higher. We live in a corrosive and truth-denying culture. I believe men are the key to the Church standing strong. Men are the key to healthy marriages, families, and communities. So, that’s why we labor in the push and pull of paradox. It’s precisely because we see the potential and reject passivity that Men’s Ministry presses on!
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