That five-year-old seemed so ready for school as fall approached. But now he looks so small and vulnerable with his oversized backpack on that big bus. Spontaneously, your eyes are brimming with tears. It’s such a happy day, but this new start puts a period to the sentence of home-based childhood. An era has ended. It’s why mothers of the bride cry at the happiest of weddings. It’s why anxiety and fear are just beneath the surface of every grand opening or each new sports season.
Whenever we step toward the new, we step away from the old, the familiar, and the identity we have forged on those practiced and familiar paths.
Change always comes with the dull soundtrack of loss underneath, and it dawns on us that we’ve never been here before.
Change brings excitement but also uncertainty.
It’s easy to spout, “God is a God of new beginnings!” That is, until the changes disturb our nest or challenge our security. Change, you see, is a two-edged sword. It adds something new and perhaps exciting. But, it also takes us a step away from the familiar and the safe, sometimes freighted with great sadness or fear.
Someone has said: “The only one who likes change is a wet baby.” But, unlike desperate infants, we don’t always desire change, even though change is inevitable in a time-bound, sequential world. History—my history—is linear. Moving forward puts distance on the past. Every addition requires a deletion; the new displaces the old; the exciting adventure disrupts stability. Plus, we're not the only ones on the planet! The actions of others on a national, regional, familial, or personal level can force changes that we haven’t planned and don’t want.
We must greet change in a healthy way.
It's not that everything changes all the time and at the same rate. That’s chaos. However, there are constant changes affecting disparate aspects of our lives, both voluntary and mandatory. The question is: How do we deal with change in a healthy, mature way? I can’t prescribe precise recommendations in the scope of this blog, but I can point to several clear guideposts to aid our progress as well as our attitude.
If anyone should be prepared for a life of change, it is the disciple of Jesus who is being transformed into God's image! Here are four helpful and challenging attitudes toward change from Ephesians Chapter 4:
1. Lean into maturity (Eph. 4:13-14):
Everything about our life with Jesus is about changing toward deeper understanding and greater resiliency. We are to “no longer be children” but to progress toward maturity. This means leaving behind immature understandings and adaptations to our world and embracing new, rigorous, but life-changing truths. We are to put away childish demands, false beliefs, and harmful commitments in order to become whole.
2. Press toward growth (Eph. 4:15):
Growing up is not the same as just growing older. It is a willful choice to deliberately step toward new attitudes, new behaviors, and new responsibilities. Here, it says to “grow up in every way.” These are proactive choices that take in the entire scope of our lives: spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational. Jesus calls us not to change because of enforced compliance but out of eagerness to grow into his likeness. It is usually the uncomfortable, even painful, changes that God uses to help us grow.
3. Stay teachable (Eph. 4:20):
Jesus teaches us not so much in the classroom as in real life. He tenaciously calls for the hardest kind of learning: self-examination. Are we good at taking notes, or are we open to changing our way of relating to others? Are we great at memorizing Scripture, or do we practice new attitudes and behaviors as a result of it? Teachability in the midst of hard knocks, disappointments, adversarial circumstances, and hard-to-live-with people is the homework Jesus sends to the heart. Do these changes keep us learning?
4. Choose your new identity (Eph. 4:22-24):
Our reflexes to life are shaped and steeped in self-preservation. The Bible calls this “the flesh.” When Jesus brings rebirth, the old nature is crucified, but old habits can still cling. “Put on the new self” is the daily, instantaneous, repetitive choice to move toward the new identity we have in him. Whatever the change may be—a happy new opportunity or a forced necessity—we can embrace it or spoil its potential for our growth by choosing the old ways or the new self.
Change is inevitable, but perspective is chosen.
Change is inevitable, but perspective is chosen. The change confronting you may be the absolute worst thing you can imagine, but you are not helpless. Do you choose to respond with maturity, a desire to grow, teachability, and a firm choice to live out your new Identity?
The truth is, it isn’t just circumstances and other people who bring change to our lives. Jesus himself changes us! Jesus never met a man or woman, a generation or nation, that he couldn't change. But, he starts and centers on the heart where willingness must make room for him. He shepherds us toward what he promises: real life, abundant life. So, he can be trusted in the changes you face today.
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