In today’s world, having a business mentor or life coach is encouraged. The mentor/coach offers advice, wisdom, and insight based on their experience and expertise in today’s environment. The mentor helps the mentee make decisions, develop plans for the future, and find balance and a sense of success in life.
Sometimes, social media plays this role. We post as much of our story as we want others to know and eagerly await a response that might be useful. Generally, we like the replies that make us feel good. But social media isn’t real life. It can give us a false sense of connection. Real life is boots on the ground, hands-on, authentic relationships. Real life, real needs . . . we need to break this cycle of relational poverty and disconnection.
As human beings, we all need real community, real relationships, and real conversation. God created us with the need for each other.
Whatever happened to Christian mentoring?
In days gone by, older Christians would take younger Christians under their wing and walk with them for a lifetime, encouraging them to read and study God’s Word and deepen their relationship with him. This practice is lost in today’s world. Too often, a person claims their faith is a personal, private matter, and the need for another person to know about it is unnecessary. One can be starving for friendship, but discussing their faith is off-limits. It’s safer to keep the subject of faith in Jesus private than to have sin exposed, have doubts raised, or be unprepared to answer honestly.
Our God is a God of relationship.
Our God is a God of relationship. It is part of his very nature. He loves it when his people come together. The Trinity is a perfect example – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit. One perfect unity/relationship. God is all about togetherness, including his promise to always be with us. He wants to be our ultimate Mentor. Where do we start?
Berean has a mentoring ministry specially designed for women.
Better Together is a women’s ministry at Berean that matches ready mentees with a mentor. It’s not a counseling session. It’s not a Bible study. Better Together is one woman walking alongside another - listening, loving, praying, and pointing each other to Jesus.
The mentor encourages the mentee to learn and acknowledge who God is, confess who he is, and praise him. She urges the mentee to read and study God’s Word and become involved in Christian community. They pray together aloud. The mentee’s faith deepens and grows. When the mentee struggles, the mentor reminds her of how God has been faithful to her because she’s witnessed it. The mentor prays for the mentee even when they are not together, and she celebrates the growth she sees in her.
As a mentor myself, I am blessed by my mentee’s desire to lean on the everlasting arms of God, regardless of the circumstances. What a testimony of trust! What a reason to rejoice!
Are you ready for a mentor?
Maybe you've been pondering the idea of connecting with a mentor. To determine if you are ready, ask yourself:
- Do I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, was born as a baby, died on the cross to pay the price for the sin I committed, was buried for three days, rose from the dead, appeared and talked with hundreds of people, sits now at the right hand of God the Father, and lives today? (If not, do you want to believe this?)
- Do I want to grow and deepen my faith in Jesus?
- Am I ready to be honest and open about my faith? (Anything else is a waste of time.)
- Am I willing to make the effort and do the work? (We follow a workbook that requires some light homework.)
- Can I commit to regular visits? (Being respectful of each other’s time is just plain kind. It’s what friends do.)
Take courage, dear daughter. Take heart, dear beloved. To find out more about Berean’s Better Together Mentoring, click HERE.
Become a mentor. Impact a life!
If you have Jesus, you have what it takes to be a great mentor. Your goal is not to distribute advice or solve problems; rather, your goal is always to point to him. It’s one woman showing up, walking alongside another, and pointing them to Jesus that can give us a fuller understanding of what it looks like to live out the abundant life. That is why godly, prayerful mentors are so vital!
By coming together in mentoring relationships, we can experience oneness and fullness.
The devil hates unity and togetherness because it represents everything God longs for us to experience - MORE of him.
Here are a few things that'll happen as a mentor:
- You’ll grow in confidence through the assurance that Jesus provides the answers and you don’t have to. (i.e., “I don’t know the answer, but we know the One who does. Let’s take it to him in prayer.”)
- You'll learn that we all have something to offer in every season of our lives.
- You'll learn that as we take the intentional steps to come together with a sincere desire to grow closer to God, he does beautiful things in our lives.
- You'll learn that being a mentor is sometimes about your age, experiences, or knowledge, but more often, it’s about caring and showing up. We don’t have to have all the answers. We might not know what to say, but we can point our mentee to Jesus through prayer and remind them of who he is. It’s as simple as that.
- You'll see that potential mentees aren’t looking for a perfect mentor; they are just looking for a present one. To be a mentor, all you need is the willingness to be a “Come-Alongsider" - to listen and not necessarily fix things; a safe person to be with, to encourage.
So, what is our More Mentoring Ministry all about?
MORE is an acronym that stands for:
- M – Mentoring (A form of discipleship focused on relationships)
- O – One-to-One (Care about the one; unity and coming together are of utmost importance.)
- R – Relating Authentically (Real and honest relationships are key.)
- E – Encouragement and Prayer (These go hand in hand, with prayer as the very foundation.)
Here are some other words we focus on in mentoring:
- COME – Come with me. It’s a personal invitation. It speaks of action, intentionality, and invitation. Come as you are. Come alongside. Come forward. Come available. Come teachable. Come together. Take a step toward another person.
- BE – Be who God made you to be. Share your story. Be okay with imperfection. Be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Let his power and influence overflow in and through your life.
- RELATING – Relating authentically through encouragement and prayer.
- MOVE – Move away from being stuck. Move out of the pit of despair, anxiety, and fear. Move forward. Move towards more of Jesus, fullness of life, freedom, and joy. Move together. Move beyond what you could even imagine into “immeasurably more.”
My Personal Mentoring Story: I Wanted What She Had.
I first attended a church service at Berean over 16 years ago. I recall the anxiety I felt walking in alone, finding a seat alone, and not being given a paper program I could fiddle with while the crazy people around me were raising their hands over their heads as they sang hymns.
The woman sitting next to me explained that the Lead Pastor was on sabbatical for the summer, and guest pastors were giving sermons in his absence. I was not new to church, but I was new to liking it! I don’t remember what I wore that day or what the sermon was about. After exchanging names with that woman, I hesitantly agreed to join her and her husband the following Sunday in the same place. This time, she held my hand throughout the service. Her touch was more than just warm; it was knowing.
That woman was one of the raised-hand singers. She shouted her song with an ear-to-ear smile. Each week, she was excited to see me as if she’d been counting the minutes ‘til Sunday. One day she said, “You know, I love you, Linnea.” She had genuine, unbridled JOY! I WANTED WHAT SHE HAD. I was desperate for that joy.
We walked alongside one another in the good times and bad.
Jane was not only willing to share her time with me in and outside of church, she was delighted to do it. Jane was my mentor, and I was a ready mentee.
She walked beside me through some horribly sad times, including divorce, my adult son’s death, job stress, and all-around heartache. She gently taught me what repentance meant and held me accountable to practice it. She encouraged me to take a class to learn how to study the Bible and even took some studies with me. We discussed what we learned about God, and she beamed like a lighthouse when I spoke to her about how God was working in my life. With absolute resolve, she assured me the Bible was true.
She taught me how to pray out loud. With Jane, there was no room for self-pity. She urged and expected me to mature in my faith, not simply gripe about my issues. She had her own troubles. We shared them.
She never gave me advice or claimed she knew how to solve a problem, but I could depend on her to quote the One who did have the answer: Jesus.
Looking Back and Looking Forward
I was nearing 50 years old when I walked into church that day. I’d spent my entire life dodging a close relationship with someone who might disagree with my life choices or worse, tell me that “I’d made the bed I was sleeping in.” Like a ninja, I could slip in and out of a church service without being noticed. I could not hear God's voice in the words of the Bible. He seemed distant and impossible to know. It’s a wonder I even kept going to church.
I didn’t want a mentor, but God knew I needed one.
His fingerprints are all over my relationship with Jane. Now, she and I live 1,600 miles apart. When we talk on the phone, we pick up where we left off, and we hear the smile in each other’s voices. I’ll never be too old to be mentored by her. I love to hear how she continues to impact others' lives. I am a mentor, too, and I try my best to do what Jane did.
Scriptures to Ponder
"And to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations, forever and ever! Amen" (Ephesians 3:19-21).
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Are you interested in becoming a mentor or a mentee? Click below for more info!
