"Surrogate grandparents take on the social role of grandparents for nearby children ... to the benefit of both parties." - Randy Lilleston
In just a couple of weeks, I will be teaching a breakout seminar at the Greater Impact Conference at Berean entitled The Top Ten Ways to Partner With Families as a Church Member. Together we will look at how someone can partner with families in their church to impact the spiritual formation of the younger generation. Here's a small taste of the opportunities on the list.
Be a Grandparent to Kids Whose Grandparents Aren't Local
Grandparents are such an incredible asset! In his book Biblical Grandparenting, Dr. Josh Mulvihill rightly suggests that "Grandparents are disciple-making partners with parents to pass faith to future generations." They are incredibly influential. Their presence brings a different dynamic to the table that often causes grandchildren to lean in and listen carefully. Their role as a spiritual influence is not over when their own children leave home. When grandchildren enter the picture, the calling to lead, influence, and invest in the spiritual development of the younger generation once again reaches a peak.
Grandparents have a one-of-a-kind relationship with their grandchildren and can leverage that toward faith development and discipleship. They can serve as another trusted voice in the life of a child, reinforcing what Mom and Dad are saying, teaching, and emulating at home. A grandparent's voice is not only unique but also incredibly valuable. Sure, grandparents can spoil their grandchildren and take them on fun adventures, but that shouldn't be the extent of the relationship. Every moment is an opportunity to show, exemplify, clarify, or teach.
When Grandparents Don't Live Nearby
I didn't have grandparents who lived near me while growing up. The ones I had the closest relationship with lived almost 3000 miles away! I didn't get to see them often, and they weren't able to engage in the everyday happenings of my life.
So, what if kids don't live close to their grandparents? What if a child's grandparents are no longer living? There are a whole host of reasons as to why there could be distance (physical or relational) between a child and their grandparents. Are those kids just out of luck? Do they simply have to miss out?
I say no!
A Surrogate Grandparent Fills a Social Role
As a member of a church body, you play a role in the partnership between the church and home. Serving as a surrogate grandparent may be the exact thing God is calling you to in the life of your church. At Berean, we have a body of believers that is full of young families, and many of these kids don't live near their grandparents. This is a prime opportunity!
Whether you are older or younger, you can come alongside a family and serve them. You can give Mom and Dad a necessary break - a free night out together without the distraction of their children. Then you can build relationships with the kids, showing them love and creating memories. On Sundays, you can wait in the lobby for them and sit together. After kids' programming, you can ask them what they learned and how they will apply that during the week. Throughout the week you can send them cards, talk with them on the phone, and pray for them. It's easy to see how this would be life-changing for kids, parents, and the family as a whole. It would be life-changing for you as well.
You're not a replacement for kids' actual grandparents, but rather you fill a void that distance can create. When their grandparents are in town, you can pray for their time together. This is a simple and significant way to impact the younger generation.
- You are serving the parents in practical ways in this relationship.
- You have the opportunity to speak God's Word into their lives.
- You can model what it looks like to live a mature life of faith.
- You can reinforce what Mom and Dad are teaching at home.
- You can provide encouragement and support.
There is no doubt that our church's families need people to serve in this role. The impact will not only be on the younger generation but also on future generations to come.
I hope you will register for the Greater Impact Conference and be equipped to strengthen the relationship between the church and home and encourage the spiritual development of the younger generation.