There is no doubt I love my kids. I love to be with and play with them, watch their creativity, tickle, and laugh with them. When I look at my kids I can't help but think about my hopes and dreams for them. It is because of this love that sometimes I think, "we have a ways to go!" Can you relate? Some days their emotions are out of control. Other days their desire and follow through with learning is less than stellar or their whining is out of control.
We've all been there, right? These are the frustrating moments that fill in the spaces between all of the good times. It is especially disheartening when we see the sustained and repeated patterns of these things in their lives. It is a struggle for us in those moments, but then there is grappling with the long-term view of their lives in relation to these habits and characteristics. Our hearts are also gripped when we see them struggling with anxieties, fears, mistrust, and uncertainty. We want nothing more than to see the replacement of these attributes and temperaments with healthy attitudes, actions, and worldview.
We wish we could fix everything immediately, but we know it will be a process. This is the calling of the parent. It is our job to disciple them through life. And the best thing we can point them to is the Father.
J.I. Packer writes this in his book Knowing God:
"Once you become aware that the main business that you are here for is to know God, most of life's problems fall into place of their own accord." (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 1973), 34.
This is what our kids need most. They need to know God. There is nothing else that will better meet the needs of our kids (and us) or have a larger impact than for them to know him. The more we know and understand God, the more our perspective on life, this world, and our place in it will be altered. The more we know God, the more we will be transformed into the people he created us to be. The more we know God, the more we will understand our purpose of enjoying him and glorifying him. Knowing God shapes and forms our lives and influences our attitudes and our actions like nothing else.
I'm not saying that we don't use practical wisdom and discipline when it comes to helping shape our kids. We need to talk to them, help them learn and understand, and take action against their sin and struggles. My point is simply this: if we try to raise our kids without leading them to know God (and this being a primary emphasis), it will be like trying to treat a laceration that is need of stitches with a simple kiss. Kisses "heal" boo-boos, but they can't fix a deep wound.
Knowing God is primary to all of life. The apostle Paul knew this and wrote about it in his letter to the Philippians:
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Philippians 3:7-8a ESV).
Nothing will transform our kids more than helping them to know and love God.