Growing up there was a season of time that my family set time aside for family devotions. Sounds great, doesn't it? There was one problem...it was in the early morning before school. Mornings are a great time to spend in God's Word. It helps to start your day with a focus on God and let His Word work in you throughout the day. What was the problem? No one, except for my dad was a morning person. My mom, my sister, and I all tried to focus, but the three of us were probably more asleep than we were awake.
Teach by Setting the Example
When we think about answering the call to be the lead disciple-maker in our homes we often think of the intentional, set aside times of teaching. These times are great but that isn't all there is. One of the most important things that we can do in the discipleship process of our kids is to model for them what it looks like to be a man or woman who is a Christ-follower.
Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin in their book Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones (an excellent book written to parents that I highly recommend!) they devote a whole chapter to this idea of modeling.
Times of direct teaching are vitally important towards learning and growing. I can't just hang out at a zoo, be around the animals, watch what they do, and therefore know everything I need to be a zoologist. I need to spend time reading and being taught to grow and develop the necessary knowledge base and skills. But I also wouldn't just sit in a classroom to become a zoologist. It is important to get out into the field, to experience, take things in, watch and observe. It is the both/ and.
The same is true for the discipleship of our kids. What we teach them is vital and is an imperative part of the shaping process. But how we live our lives as Christians and what we emulate/model for our kids may have an even greater impact.
Chandler and Griffin talk about simple things like how we react in different situations, how we show hospitality to others, and how we love our kids as being ways that we can model a life that is shaped by the gospel.
We are Shaped by our Family Experience
One of the things I love the most about premarital counseling with engaged couples is learning about their upbringing and how different the experiences of the two individuals usually are. We talk about this because whether we like it or not, we have been shaped by our families and the way we were brought up. It is what shapes our norms, our rhythms, and our responses. This is exactly what is happening as we disciple our kids! How we live out our faith and share it with others is forming what is normal for our kids. They will emulate what they see being modeled.
The good news is that all hope was not lost as my dad tried to lead us in a time of devotions in the morning. That practice had value, although maybe not as much as he had originally hoped. My discipleship was not hanging on that short time each morning. Day in and day out, moment by moment I was being discipled by my parents as I watched how they lived their lives day in and day out, and learned from them.
Take this to heart. Please don't think you can abandon direct and intentional instruction, but don't forget the importance of what your kids see from you. An intentional life lived for Christ will have an incredible impact on their lives.