"Girl time!" - my daughter excitedly exclaimed as she hopped in the car.
The other day our family had taken two cars to an event, and as we left, it was just the two of us driving home together. I chuckled inside at the fact that we would only be driving for a total of five minutes. Then, my heart warmed as I processed what was happening. My daughter was reveling in the opportunity to spend time one-on-one, even if it was just a quick car ride home.
Kids love to feel special. Let’s be honest: We all do! We love to be seen and heard and to be recognized as the unique individual God made us to be. As we spend time with our kids, the value of one-on-one time with each child is so important. What does this look like? How do we invest in our kids one-on-one?
5 Practical Tips for One-On-One Time
From experiences with my own children, I have found five things that are successful and easy to implement.
1. Savor the little things.
Spending one-on-one time with your child does not have to be a huge event. As illustrated above, even five minutes together can be special. Of course, an adventure out or even a parent-child trip can make memories to last a lifetime. But we don’t have to wait until a “big event” to have meaningful one-on-one time. A trip to the store to run an errand or to make a quick visit can be special and memorable. Little things matter!
2. Make a big deal out of it.
If it’s special to us as parents, it’s special to the kids. When my daughter started school and I had my son home with me for two years before he started school, any day off I had with him was “Mommy-Nathan Time.” Whether we were off to the zoo, playing with toys, watching TV, or getting groceries, time together had a name, and it was special. My son is now almost seven years old, and when we have time together, no matter how small, he still calls it "Mommy-Nathan Time." Time with Nathan and Dad is “boy time.” The more we celebrate moments with our kids to make them special and unique, the more the moments will be remembered and savored.
3. Maximize on the moments.
There have been a couple of outings with my kids when I planned specific conversations that needed to take place in their personal, spiritual, and/or emotional development. These are important and should be intentional and purposeful. Along with these events, the simplest time together can also be an opportunity for a nugget of wisdom, a one-statement thought, or a quick question. As you have time with your kids alone, consider what you can talk about that would add some depth and intentionality to the conversation. In addition to being an opportunity for your child’s growth, it’s yet another way to make them feel uniquely seen and heard.
4. Enjoy the laughs.
Sometimes the best way to spend significant time together is to laugh together. Listen to fun music. Have a dance party. Be silly and ridiculous. Tell jokes. Share funny stories. Just love life together.
5. Let them know you.
Tell your kids stories about yourself. Tell them the funny things you did as a kid. Tell them the stupid things you did as a kid. Tell them about your mistakes, your failures, and your regrets. Tell them about your triumphs, your celebrations, and your treasures. When you let your kids know about you by sharing your past, you create a unique pathway through which they can understand you and see you as more than just a grown-up, a parent, or a disciplinarian. If your kids hear about the times when you learned things the hard way, along with how you dealt with your mistakes, those can be a catalyst for their own growth to increase.
Begin your plan for connection - today!
Life is short, and kids seem to grow up in the blink of an eye. Don't wait for the moments to pass you by. Develop a plan today to be intentional about connecting with your kids. As you spend more one-on-one time, I pray you will grow together in unique and significant ways!
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