It's interesting how most of our lives we spend time trying to find our people. We try to find a group of people that we can relate to and have a good time with. Then, when you bring faith into the mix, we try to find people who are going to pull us forward into the life God is calling us to.
There is, however, a group of people whom most of us don't have to find on our own. Rather, they are there from the moment our life begins - our family. Family isn't something you get to choose, but you are (generally) born into it. I didn't get to decide who my parents or my sister would be. Instead, God had a plan for me to be placed into my family.
Church was not always a priority in my family.
Before we get to where we are going, I need to tell you a bit about my family's history with the Church. We grew up going to church . . . well, sort of. We attended fairly frequently but it was only because my mom's mom was a devout Christian. I don't believe any of us actually wanted to go, but we attended out of obligation. When my grandma passed away around the time I was seven, we all but stopped going to church. My dad's side of the family had connections to Christianity, but no one was really following Jesus.
Several years after my grandma passed, my parents got divorced. My mom was searching for answers - searching for hope. She turned to what her mother did. She went to church. I was forced to go to church with her, but for some reason, my sister wasn't (double standard much? Just kidding!). My mom found a church that she liked, and I had friends there so I didn't mind going.
I am thankful that Jesus found me.
In seventh grade, on "The Onion Retreat" (Yes, of course, themed after Shrek!), Jesus found me. I gave my life to him and devoted everything I've done to him. As we come back to the present, I am now a devoted Christian who has gone to a Christian college and has worked at several different Christian organizations for a total of about 17 years. Still, the only other practicing Christian in my family has been my mom.
I wanted my family to find Jesus too . . . my way.
I used to think that my actions and what I had devoted my life to would simply be enough for the rest of my family to find Jesus too. Surely if they saw me go through all of the practices of faithfully going to church, attending a Christian college, and working for Christian organizations, they would come to believe in God too, right? I mean why would someone spend their life doing this work if it wasn't real?!
Well, I'm sure you see where I'm going. That never worked to bring any of my family to Jesus. It was difficult for me for a few years because I couldn't wrap my head around why my family wouldn't want to be a part of this life change.
How were they content to continue going on living their lives when there was something so much better waiting for them?
What did it say about my faith that they saw my actions but never inquired further about the why behind them? Was I not living a life that was honoring God? My self-doubt suddenly became very real. What more could I do to get them to believe? Had I done everything in my power?
I needed to let God write the story instead.
As humans, we are really good at filling in the beginning and end of a story. The beginning is easy because we are living it. For me, the beginning is that my family doesn't believe in God. It's been tempting for me to also fill in the end of the story by claiming that my family won't ever believe in God.
I want to work through a quick example of how our minds start to complete a story. Let's take a look at some words from the middle of a sentence: "the lion"
Some might fill the beginning and the end of the lion's story with these different scenarios:
- Run! The lion is loose!
- I am the lion; I fear nothing.
- And the lion and the lamb will lay together when God brings peace.
- God is both the lion and the lamb, Defender and Protector, Savior and Deliverer, both the One who is powerful enough to save you and sacrificial enough to die for you.
Do you see how easily different scenarios can be concocted? That's what I was doing with my family's story. I was filling in the beginning and the end according to what I thought was possible, but I wasn't trusting God to do more with the story.
It's more than just trusting God. It is realizing that he is not done writing the story. What you think is a period, perhaps he sees as a comma!
I really needed that realization in my life. I had thought the story was over for my family. Or, if it was going to change, I needed someone else to intervene in their life because I didn't have any strategies left. The moment I recognized that their story was far from over was when everything changed for me.
I needed to lay down my own strategy and desires.
I had been praying for my family intentionally and fervently for four years or so. The keywords I want you to see there are intentionally and fervently. I had been praying for my family all this time, but I finally started to pray with intent. I began asking God for opportunities to share my faith with them in ways that they needed to hear it, and I stopped trying to reach out to them in the ways I thought were best. I just gave it all over to God.
This past Christmas, out of nowhere, my dad and step-mom asked if they could attend church with me. I didn't ask them. I didn't challenge them. They came to me and asked if it would be okay if they came to church! They came twice with me before moving to Arkansas, but they have since been working to find a church where they can connect. After years of trying to do what I thought best and trying to advance their story to intertwine with God's, I finally gave it all over to him. The period in my parents' story has now become a comma. God is still working!
I've continued in prayer for my parents as they seek out faith and try to find a church to call home.
I will be honest, I never thought I'd see this day come. I was always hopeful that something would change, but I had run out of ideas. This was only an act of God.
He heard my prayers for my family. He heard the longing I had for them. And he had stirred something in their hearts that prompted them to explore faith.
We can trust God for every story.
There are many more people in my family whom I'm hoping will have a similar experience. The difference for me now is I'm no longer discouraged - no longer thinking that I have to be the one who facilitates this change or this longing to know God. I'm leaving it all in God's hands, knowing that he can rewrite stories into beautiful novels. Where I've seen periods in my family's life, God is writing their story and saying, "That's just a comma." There is so much left to their story that has yet to be told. I continue to pray with intent and fervor, trusting the Lord of lords to rewrite their story and transform it into something far beyond my greatest dreams.
So, who are you praying for? Who is on your heart today? Remember, God is the author of their story too and he can write it into something amazing!
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