Most of my mentors never knew they had that role in my life. They never knew that they were serving as a guide, a model, and an example. They didn’t know how I was listening. Our relationships involved us in common commitments, common passions, and common goals. We simply were thrown into the same work together. But, believe me, I was learning from them. They taught me ways of responding and living that I never would have learned in class. They touched my life and shaped my spiritual direction.
Mentorship is simply one person rubbing off on another. It’s a transfer of character accomplished by the generous sharing of a treasury of experience. Most mentorship is informal, but it is no less significant than a formal curriculum. Here are a few memorable phrases from my mentors that have spoken volumes of truth into my life.
Love chooses to understand.
This was passed on through a thousand repetitions by my Dad. He lived this out in his life and ministry. I will always be challenged to put myself in the shoes of the other person and love in such a way that tries to comprehend his or her context and intentions.
There is no growth without commitment.
This was lived out by my leader as we poured our lives into high-risk, largely ungrateful, delinquent young men in an adventure camp. When you are “all in” you have to grow to match your commitment. Everything else is just window shopping and option tending. If you want to grow, commit yourself to something beyond your comfort zone and beyond your own current capacity. It will stretch you.
Lord, let something happen that’s not in the bulletin.
This tongue-in-cheek statement gives voice to the desire for God’s intervention in the greatest of our plans. My friend and mentor modeled this in a life of expectant prayer and flexibility that was always ready to see something new. It was a humble and worshipful readiness for the living Lord to supersede the program we had planned.
Anyone reading this might think I haven’t remembered very much! But you would be wrong. Behind each of these phrases is a life and many examples of true character. These mentors were shaping me even though they didn’t know it at the time. They simply included me along on their journey and gave generously of their words and time. This is the real potential embedded in the everyday life of a family. The true things you repeat and live out will become the legacy you leave. Someone is listening.
